Wednesday, March 28, 2018

There's Always Complications

Samantha
I've kinda stopped playing Guild Wars 2.  There was a lot of drama - not with me, but in general.  People I was hanging out with kind of went away, my guild was barely being represented, and things kind of fell apart.  The people I wanted to go run around with already did the material, so it was rehashing for them, or weren't really that interested anymore.

So it stopped being fun.  Kit's the person who's okay running around all by himself and seeing things, I'm the person who wants a group of friends to hang out with and chat with while I'm running around with them, the group of us seeing new things, and sharing the experience of exploring.  I mean, this is kinda what I did in Guild Wars 1 - I had a group, we met up once a week, and we pushed through the storylines, seeing what was going on.  When I got into GW2, it kinda fell apart, people went their own way, or stopped showing up at all.  I had to make a new group of friends for the game, and.. well, that didn't last long.

This whole thing with 'you can be in more than one guild' sucked.. because there were bigger guilds, more active guilds, guilds who had dozens and scores of members and who got all the 'good stuff', and.. left me with nothing.

Going into Warframe, we've got a bunch of new players coming in, or people who've not played in awhile and are just really getting into it again now.  Michelle's Clan had two members before I joined, and now I think we're close to 10 or so.  There's a few people on through the day, and we can team up and do stuff and chat on Discord while we're running around - and it's fun!

There's two people I was hoping would really get into it - enjoying something that I enjoy.. but.. yeah.  There's complications.  They're both pretty laconic when it comes to groups, fading into the background unless you specifically talk to them.. and one doesn't enjoy groups that much, while the other one's got.. reservations.. about the Clan because of certain dynamics.

They're both kinda important to me - I want them to have fun in something I'm enjoying.  I want to do things with them.  But it looks like that's not really going to happen.  So I'm conflicted.  I could spend less time doing something I'm enjoying to hang out with them - even if it means doing things less fun, or I can try to drag them into this.. knowing they're not having fun.. or I can spend less time with them, feeling bad about enjoying something without them.

And it all sucks.
A part of me is also worried that the 'new game' shine is going to fade for the people I'm hanging out with, leaving me abandoned again.  Typically, when this starts up, I'll be the first to bail - go find something else to do to distract me from feeling alone when things get complicated.  I don't want to do that to Michelle though, so I'll stick around.. but I'm worried I'm going to get hurt again, that I'll look around, and the people I was hanging out with have all gone to do something else.

:<

All I want is a game, and friends I care about who play the game with me, and us having fun.  Why is it so hard to find something so simple?

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