Wednesday, November 26, 2014

If You Can't Control the Others..

Samantha:  Kit got some flack from our earlier post.  It may have cost him at least one friendship.  I'm not going to go into too much detail, because the drama-llama is not why I'm writing tonight.  No, this is about a thing that was said to Kit - and peripherally, related to how some people among his friends and family relate to us - or fail to.

"Well, if you can't control the others, talk to them."
The thing is, Kit does talk to us.  We talk to each other.  That's part of the bargain with Legion - we have to talk with one another to co-exist.  Without communication, we'd be like in the bad old days - the days when I didn't exist.  When Kit was curled up in a ball in his room, screaming for the "others" to stop talking to him, and for Shawn to stop trying to torment him.

We talk.  We argue.  We debate.  Communication with us is pretty quick usually.  Sometimes we agree, and sometimes we don't.  Sometimes we try to find common ground, and sometimes one or more of us will dig in our heels to get our way.  Control?  No, that's not how we function.  Do you control your brother and your sister?  Do you control your friends?  No.  You can talk with them, or argue with them, or try to find some sort of middle ground with them, but you don't control them.

Kit doesn't control us.  Nor should he try.  The only time we try to "control" anyone, is when we're dealing with Dark, and he's deciding to come up at a bad time.  And that isn't "control", that's us clinging to him and preventing him from manifesting - and that's something that takes all of us together to do.  And if he is on one of his more persistent attempts, that's a delaying tactic - not something we tend to succeed at.

This blog here?  This was a gift from Kit to us.  It was something where we could write about how we feel, what we think, and how we react to the world around us.  We don't get many ways to voice our thoughts, or to interact with the world around us, but this is our space, and we can use it however we want.  Kit can say he's uncomfortable with what we write - and that's fine, but that's all he's allowed to do.  Anything else would be censorship.  And that would be a betrayal of our trust.

Sadly, Kit gets flack sometimes for things we do.  Some people just don't comprehend - I'm not him.  He's not me.  What I value isn't necessarily what he values.  And what Kit values is definitely not what Shawn values.  So yes, I'm going to continue to speak my mind here, and I'm going to be thankful Kit gave me this kind of space to talk.  I'm sad that he's taking the blame for things he's not said, and I'm sad he's losing some of his friends over this, but I think that's more a statement about his friends, and not him.

Shawn:  I don't have much to add.  Not related to this anyway.  Funny enough, related to this kind of thing, I sent off an e-mail.  I think it was my very first e-mail, ever.  I had to use Kit's e-mail to do it, since it is kind of obvious I'd not have my own e-mail address.  I'm not as chatty as the rest of the group are.  I didn't get a reply.  That was probably for the best, the conversation would have turned decidedly unpleasant if I had, I bet.  But I needed to drive a point home.  Doubt it worked.

But yeah.  Short form.  I'm me.  She's she.  He's he.  If I sign my name to something, that makes it mine.  If she signs her name to something, that makes it hers.  If he signs his name to something, that makes it his.  And you know what?  It's fucking insulting when that's ignored.  It's even more fucking insulting when we're talking to someone, and they decided to ignore us and talk about us in the third person.  But yeah, maybe some people are thick.

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