Dream a Little Dream

Samantha

Well, that sucked.

Our dreams lately have been hyper-real - even if weird at times, and when we went to rest, I wound up dreaming.  In my dream, I walked down to the side of a river - and remembered that this was a place that a friend, Rumour, and I used to hang out at.  I'd not seen her in a long while, but there were some items there from our previous visits, so I decided to sit down and go through them.

Not that, you know, this had ever actually happened in real life.

But I had this huge feeling of nostalgia, of loss, of loneliness, and it carried with me when I woke up.  I decided to reload Skype and see if she had ever replied to anything there.  But no - her name wasn't even there anymore for me.

I went and checked my e-mails, and threw an e-mail off to each of her e-mail addresses, in the hopes she might surprise me and answer.

I went into Second Life, and ... so much has changed.  A friend I'd not seen in years contacted me there, and we sat and talked and had a good time reminiscing, so .. that was good.

But.. I'm still sad.  I still miss my Rumour.

Ghosts

Samantha

I decided to go onto Second Life today.  It's been about a year, and it was about a year since my visit before that.  I left it all behind for.. reasons.

First and foremost, my partner there decided she was going to stop going.  We still talked on Skype, and she offered to go on when I was DJing there.  So, that killed my reasons for logging on more often.  We'd sometimes hook up and go around, but.. no, not much.  Then, we got a new computer.  And I couldn't hook up to the streams to DJ.  Since that was my only other reason to usually go, I just bowed out.  And then I stopped going.

Well, Rumour's gone.  I've not heard from her in two years.  Her birthday was a few weeks ago, and I wished her a happy birthday, but.. yeah, nothing there.

So, today, I decided to log into Second Life.. to just see what was there.  A few things have changed, but a few of my DJ friends are there.

But it hurts so very much.

I miss Rumour.  I see myself in Second Life, and .. I feel her absence.

It's like when I was playing on Fool's Moon, and Kayla disappeared.

Or Yuriba, when Faith vanished.

I don't normally let myself get close to people.  But when I do..

And they disappear..

It hurts.

I don't know what to do about things like this.  I don't like it when people disappear.  It makes me want to stay away from people.  To just curl up and leave everyone behind.